"Now, everybody in America knows what California is. It’s the world’s largest loony bin. Whether you’re in San Francisco or Los Angeles, it doesn’t matter. Scientific surveys have shown that 97.3 percent of all Californians are deranged. And the others are kinda strange, too." — Mike Royko
Tan sports columnist Jeff Miller is from California.
The Orange County Register writer recently wrote that he doesn't like it when noisy Blackhawks fans come to town because of the way they “squeeze themselves into Honda Center” — and by that he must mean "buy tickets" that Ducks fans didn’t want anyway — and “produce enough noise to seemingly split in half the allegiance inside the Ducks' home.”
Poor California Jeff doesn’t think it’s fair that Hawks fans' Chicago-style passion has overwhelmed the chill, zen vibe Ducks' fans are used to on their home ice.
“It’s one thing to try to make your presence felt in an opposing building. It’s quite another to try to make the place your own. Visitors with a raucous, collective voice, you’ll overstay your welcome each game, by only three periods or so, give or take overtime,” he wrote.
And what particularly honks off California Jeff is that Hawks fans — a group that dates back to the NHL's original six teams — don’t strictly follow modern cheering cues displayed on the Jumbotron.
No, Hawks fans like to show off their Blackhawks sweaters (they’re not jerseys, California Jeff) “and Midwest accents, chanting their grating chants, cheering when it’s entirely inappropriate to do so and standing to gloat every time Jonathan Toews does anything even remotely productive, like blow his nose on the ice,” he wrote.
Sure, he understands it’s easier to root for the Hawks than the Cubs — and that’s the one thing that I can agree with the guy about.
But California Jeff says he doesn’t like us because we’re annoying in a certain way that irritates suburban California hockey fans with Disney sensibilities — “sort of like Red Wings fans, only with worse personal hygiene.”
Now, those are words that might get you five for fighting — in the parking lot.
Hawks fans are a lot of things — loud, boisterous and passionate with way cooler sweaters than your favorite team — but we definitely smell better than Red Wings fans.
So, let’s just get that straight, pal.
If you don't like it, well, we can always talk about it when you come to Chicago.
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