UKRAINIAN VILLAGE — I'm pretty sure Tony Fitzpatrick would slap a guy in the face with his giant artistic paw if he thought it might get the guy to snap out of his apathetic yuppie coma and pay attention to what's going on in the city.
That’s just the kind of guy he is.
Since a backhand to the grill probably won’t have the desired effect, Fitzpatrick writes a bimonthly column in Newcity that offers his readers an uncensored snapshot of an old school artist’s unrelentingly idealistic view of modern Chicago that balances the hard truths about his city with his hope for what it could be.
“I’ll tell you, the way an artist sees the way this city works is different … and it’s not just a perspective that’s always covered in pixie dust, either” Fitzpatrick says. “And I haven’t snorted pixie dust in 32 years.”
For the past few years, the artist, playwright and actor — Fitzpatrick recently scored a role in Spike Lee’s controversially titled movie, “Chiraq” — has lovingly labored over the writing that he admits is the toughest and probably most fulfilling gig he he’s got.
It doesn’t pay much, but that space for a thousand words or so affords a loud, opinionated liberal a much-needed soapbox for his venting.
In that space, he explains the city as he sees it, told through a twisted prism of sometimes booze-and-dope-altered memories, lessons squeezed from favorite books, watching birds and a colorful cast of characters that produced a wisdom — and a fondness for common sense and honesty, above all else — that can only come from surviving a hard-lived life.
Next week, Curbside Splendor is set to release “Dime Stories,” Fitzpatrick’s first collection of Newcity columns — and it’s packed with gems.
“It’s a book about days spent living in Chicago. The distant mirror of this book is probably the Ben Hecht book, 'A Thousand Afternoons in Chicago,’ ” Fitzpatrick said. “When I first started, I had no idea about being a columnist. I had to learn. … I thought it would have some currency as a funny diary and then, you know, life intercedes. It’s changed me.”
Fitzpatrick takes on his favorite targets, Donald Trump and Mayor Rahm Emanuel among them; rails against the gun lobby he supported until bullets stole so many Chicago lives; and offers touching tributes to the late movie critic Roger Ebert (who helped him stay sober), oral historian Studs Terkel (a mentor and friend) and rocker Lou Reed, a hero who became a pal.
Tucked in the pages, you’ll find advice from a regular guy inspired by a random run-in with drunken girls outside a neighborhood gelato shop the moment before the vomiting started.
“Brown liquor is f------ satan” and “Don’t drink with your boss,” he told the girls and his readers.
Mixed in with Fitzpatrick’s critiques of the commercial “art world” that he loves to hate and a eulogy for the Cock Robin hamburger spots of his youth, you’ll find a hilarious cautionary tale about the time he went Christmas caroling after eating “s--- ton of pink mescaline.”
If you’re easily offended, you’ll have to look past Fitzpatrick for his filthy language — and there’s a lot of it — to hear his message. That’s just how the guy tells stories.
“Look, there are a lot more people who talk like me in Chicago than people who don’t,” he says unapologetically.
After all, Fitzpatrick doesn’t hide the fact he’s preaching to a choir of kindred spirits ticked off about how beloved parts of his city have gone from “perfectly good bad neighborhoods” where blue-collar families could thrive to places where “doughnuts cost about as much as a mortgage” in the last 30 years.
At his best, Fitzpatrick’s captures the heart of the city he loves by sharing the tales of real neighborhood characters.
In three columns, “The Relentless Wisdom of Anthony Potenzo,” you’ll meet Fitzpatrick’s chief muse, a Little Italy restaurateur that “Dimes Stories” is dedicated to.
“Whenever I need a column, Anthony is always my go-to guy,” Fitzpatrick said. “He was the front of the house guy at Jilly’s. … He’s seen a side of Chicago that not a lot of people have seen. And he’s a great storyteller.”
And if you’re still looking for a good reason to pick up "Dime Stories," let’s just say that Fitzpatrick’s column detailing the day a rather amorous monkey joyfully molested Potenzo’s ear does not disappoint and leave it at that.
Fitzpatrick plans to celebrate "Dime Stories" with a book signing at Fitzgeralds in Berwyn on July 12 from 1 to 4 p.m.
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