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The Onion Posts Craigslist Ad In Hopes Of Dipping In Neighbor's Pool

 The pool next door to the Onion that Onion employees hope to use.
The pool next door to the Onion that Onion employees hope to use.
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Craigslist

RIVER NORTH — The high-rise next to The Onion has a rooftop pool, and folks working at the satirical website are desperate to take a dip.

The Chicago-based publication posted an ad to Craigslist on Tuesday night, asking its neighbors at 757 N. Orleans St. if they can come over and use their rooftop pool.

"Every single day, we look out our kitchen window and gaze longingly at your pool," the post reads. "Indeed, it's been an in-joke in the office for years now on nice days where we look out and see one solo person lounging on the deck, and we cuss you out, jealous."

The Onion, whose lead story right now is a light-hearted listicle on handling social anxiety, attempted to sweeten the ad by bringing over pool floats shaped like emojis. The Onion also invited its River North, pool-having neighbors to its weekly "Whiskey Fridays" happy hours.

Though The Onion is best known for jokes, the ad makes it clear The Onion's staffers have been coveting the pool for a long time.

"We've been trying to contact you guys for years, but it hasn't worked out," the ad reads. "We've put big signs in our windows and everything, and no one's ever hit us up. Please, won't you be the one that changes that?"

As of Wednesday, it appeared The Onion also drew attention from the neighbors it was so desperately trying to reach. At least according to Laura Browning, managing editor of The Onion's sister publication The A.V. Club. 

No word yet on whether those two neighbors are letting The Onion use their pool.  

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