CHICAGO — Treat yourself this season by gifting a leaky vase sure to ruin the many personal "possessions of your enemies."
That's the idea behind a viral Chicago Craigslist post that appeared Tuesday offering a tall green vase for $20, specifically intended to ruin the household belongings of the "a--hole in your life."
It's unfortunately been sold, but the poster, Christine Price, promised there is someone out there in each of our lives who may deserve to get a deceptively beautiful new vase.
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Enemies will never be any the wiser, according to the poster. It's the perfect plan.
"When you first use it, it's fine. It holds both water and flowers. But after an hour (perhaps less) the ceramic base, without warning, becomes saturated with water, and it begins to leak. An entire vase full of water, leaking onto the possessions of your enemies."
Price said she first attempted to use the vase at her ill-fated "first ever formal dinner party, an 11-person Friendsgiving event," during which her guests noticed the "a--hole vase" leaking water onto a wooden table near some electronics.
She hoped the vase could "provide some joy to someone this holiday season; just not that someone's gift recipient." She even tested it again by putting the vase in a casserole dish to ensure it would achieve the desired effect.
The buyer, Price said, is a man who said "a guy in his fantasy football league is being a right a--hole about it." To which Price replied, "Fantasy can be a serious business, so it makes sense to me." That buyer won out over a bartender who had promised her a shot and a pint to trade for it.
She said the response to her posting has been overwhelmingly positive, with even her 7th grade teacher commenting that she should "patent and produce such vases. So I suppose day dreams of petty revenge are pretty universal."
It's too late for this vase, but a gentle crack from a hammer on any you have at home will do just fine. Merry Christmas.
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