LINCOLN SQUARE — With apologies to Nat King Cole: Oh Christmas tree, oh Christmas tree, how dried-out are your branches?
It's the annual conundrum of shopping for a "live" Christmas tree: Sure, they might be kindling by New Year's or so, but how to choose the one that's least-dead?
For answers, we went straight to the top — the Christmas Tree Lot Guy.
His name is actually Nick Zouras and you can find him, seven days a week, 9 a.m. to 9 p.m., roaming the temporary pine-scented forest at 2018 W. Lawrence Ave.
Eleven months out of the year, Zouras lives in Glenview and runs a real estate business. He owns the property on Lawrence outright, and maintains it solely to sell trees during the holiday season.
"Some people think it's weird — 'Why do you do it?"" he said. "It's traditional. If Christmas came around and I wasn't doing this, I'd be lost."
Nick's dad bought the lot on Lawrence in the 1970s and the Zouras family has been in the Christmas tree business ever since.
"When my dad started, he wasn't sure how to get trees," said the younger Zouras, who has since solved that problem by purchasing a stake in a tree farm in Michigan's Upper Peninsula.
Over the years, he's become an expert on which trees smell the best, stand the straightest and last the longest, which explains why his selection is limited to balsam and fraser firs.
Asked for tips on how to avoid a needle-dropping lemon, Zouras offered this simple test: Take the tip of a tree branch and bend it back. If it snaps off, the tree's a dud. If it rebounds into place, you've got a winner.
The presence of sap is also a "very good sign," he said, indicating that the tree is fresh.
In a good year, Zouras said he'll sell as many as 2,800 trees, replenishing his stock four or five times.
"The economy is a big thing," he said. "This year, with lower gas prices, people have more money."
Expect to pay anywhere from $35-$60 for tabletop and small trees and up to $150 for a 15-foot fraser.
Weather plays a factor too — the more wintry it gets, the better for business.
"If it snows a little bit, there's that 'Miracle on 34th Street' vibe," Zouras said. "It gets people in the mood."
The neighborhood's condo owners tend to favor 6-to-8 footers, Zouras said, and have been asking for narrower trees to fit into corners.
"There are also a lot of old Victorian homes with huge ceilings," he said, and 9-to-12-footers will fill those spaces.
Once you get your tree home, Zouras advised placing it away from heating vents and radiators. Keep the tree hydrated with plain old cold water, no "preservatives" needed, according to Zouras.
"Aspirin, sugar, 7-Up, those are all old wives' tales," he said.
One last question: Which Christmas song is he most sick of come Dec. 24 when he closes down the lot?
"All of it. The whole Lite-FM."
Where to Buy a Tree
There are a number of Christmas tree lots in the area. Some, like Zouras', are for profit; several others are fundraisers for various schools and churches and either last through the entire season or pop up for a single weekend. Bring cash — tree lots often aren't set up to accept credit or debit card payment.
Non-profit, single weekend:
Dec. 6, Neighborhood Boys & Girls Club, 2501 W. Irving Park Rd.: Trees, wreaths and roping. Hours are 8 a.m. to 3 p.m., Dec. 6 only. Purchase a tree or wreath and receive $5 in Piggery Bucks to use at the Piggery, 1625 W. Irving Park Rd.
Dec. 6-8, St. Viator Winterfest, 4140 N. Addison St.: Trees, wreaths and roping. Hours are 4-10 p.m., Friday; 9 a.m. - 10 p.m., Saturday; and 9 a.m. - 6 p.m., Sunday. Cost is $50 for a noble fir or $60 for a fraser fir. Wreaths are $15 or $25 decorated. Roping is $15-$20.
Dec. 7, St. Edward School, 4447 N. Lowell Ave.: Trees, wreaths, roping and containers. Hours are 9 a.m. - 2 p.m. Trees are $10 per foot; roping is $2 per foot; wreaths are $35-$45; and containers are $25.
Non-profit, all season:
Queen of Angels, Sunnyside and Western, fundraiser: Balsam and fraser firs, roping and wreaths. Trees range from $30-$35 for tabletops and up to $90 for the priciest fraser. Hours are 6-9 p.m. weeknights, 9 a.m. - 9 p.m. on weekends. Through Dec. 21 or as long as quantities last.
St. Matthias, 4901 N. Western Ave., fundraiser: Selling trees, roping and wreaths. All trees come from Merrill, Wis., and were fresh cut in late November. Hours are 6-9 p.m. weeknights (10 p.m. on Fridays); 9 a.m. - 9 p.m., Saturday; 10 a.m. - 7 p.m., Sunday.
For-profit, all season:
Daily Bar & Grill, 4560 N. Lincoln Ave.
Farmers Garden Market, 2232 W. Lawrence Ave.: Trees, wreaths and roping.
Farmers Market Garden Center, 4110 N. Elston Ave.: White pines and fraser firs, wreaths and roping.
For more neighborhood news, listen to DNAinfo Radio here:
