LOGAN SQUARE — Prizes. Trash Talk. Creatively-attired ladies battling for supremacy — and some very sparkly gloves.
All of these sights and more will be at "CLLAW XX” Saturday night at 10 p.m., the Chicago League of Lady Arm Wrestlers' 20th bout at Logan Auditorium, 2539 N. Kedzie Blvd.
The not-so-ladylike warriors of the Chicago League of Lady Arm Wrestlers will take the stage by force at 10:30 pm, and take guests' money to support Sideshow Theater and The Youth Empowerment Performance Project (YEPP) by choice.
That’s right - spectators can vote by throwing money at their favorites, and magically, the outcomes can change.
A few bucks could put Marie Armtoinette, Stone Cold Jane Austen, Rocky Balboner, or even Cursula back on top and help two great performance groups while enjoying drinks, music, and pure upper-body mayhem.
Audience members get in the door for $10, and are automatically entered in a raffle to win prizes.
Founding member The Cutting Edge (a.k.a. Megan Smith) explains the setup.
“If you win, you get salsa lessons, free classes, gift certificates from restaurants and theaters. If you lose, you get something from the Dollar Store.”
Immediately upon entering the auditorium, you’ll notice people selling CLLAWBUX (the official currency of the League) for a dollar each… and that is how the bribery begins.
The more you bribe, the better it is for everyone.
Founded eight years ago, Sideshow Theater needed a way to raise money for three shows a year. The mix of alumni from University of Virginia and Catholic University in DC had reunited in Chicago, founded a theater group, and started producing shows with the staggering budget of $6,000 a show - but they wanted to build more of a community and split the proceeds with a great charity each time.
The usual fundraising efforts just were not reflective of the group’s cheerfully subversive approach to theater and life - until they remembered some friends in Charlottesville, Virginia, who’d founded a Lady’s Arm Wrestling League.
“We were the second league in the country in 2009,” says Smith. “Now there are about 20 or 30. But we’re the most theatrical.”
The previous 19 CLLAW bouts helped them not only perfect the experience for the audience - it helped them recruit and train new wrestlers.
Twelve ladies will take the center ring on Saturday night, including volunteer Lumberjack Jill (aka Kelsey Miller) who built her persona watching the bouts on Facebook while working for Conservation Corps in the forests of New Hampshire.
"I’d been considering moving to Chicago, and I said if I go, I need to do this,” said Miller. Her persona developed from the work she did on the trail, “wearing a lot of plaid”, and the fact that she and her sister (Rokke L. Squelch, Master of Ceremonies) are both from Oregon.
It’s this growing stable of ferocious talent that makes Smith especially proud of the League, she said.
“Many are not performers. It feels a little Fight Club - they have office jobs by day. There’s this burst of creativity from these women.”
Miller was attracted by something more rigorous.
"An event like this, put on by women, really shows their strengths, physically and their personality. And to support charities in the community - more strength," Miller said.
She was personally responsible for leading CLLAW to YEPP for this bout’s shared bounty - she worked with the founder of YEPP at the Harm Reduction Round Table, and became interested in the goals of the Youth Empowerment Performance Project.
"YEPP uses theater to explore the issues these homeless LGBTQA teens are having, spends six months working it out with them, then the next six months they spend creating a performance piece," Smith said.
"They perform in public — 'Faces' was the most recent — and they even perform in other cities. It’s incredible and very focused.”
So, how do Lady Arm Wrestlers prepare for a bout of this magnitude?
“Lots of push-ups - but even more core building, “ says Smith. “People don’t realize that core strength will help you more than anything.”
Do people ask to touch her muscles?
“People ask to touch my mustache,” says Miller. “Or my chainsaw. I have a little baby chainsaw. I based my character a lot on Ron Swanson - but I’ve gotten rowdier over the last four years. I tell other wrestlers that they don’t deserve to wear plaid - or I tell people that if they don’t bet on me, I’ll chop their house down!”
Get your tickets early at the CLLAW website.
Doors open at the Logan Auditorium at 10 pm, first match at 10:30 pm. Six matches in the first half followed by a performance by the Jacob Horn Trio. Stalemates settled by the Stalemate Wheel, which may involve a drinking contest or dance-off to choose the final winner. Cash bar available.
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