Someone delivered a severed goat head to Cubs owner Tom Ricketts. **
That raises some important questions. Thankfully, DNAinfo Chicago's Wrigleyville bureau chief Serena Dai was on the case.
Was the severed goat's head cooked?
Was it heavy?
Was it stinky?
Cubs spokesman Julian Green late Wednesday refused to "entertain" those questions because he had neither seen, nor weighed, nor sniffed the severed goat head — which police described as an "intimidating package."
Of course, the severed goat head reminds us of the curse that Billy "Billy Goat" Sianis allegedly placed on the Cubs after getting booted from Wrigley Field for bringing a particularly smelly goat as his date to the 1945 World Series.
"Them Cubs, they ain't gonna win no more," Billy Goat said — and the team hasn't been back to a World Series since.
Billy Sianis' nephew, Sam Sianis, has made a few unsuccessful attempts to break the curse by bringing live goats to Wrigley Field.
But ol' Sam doesn't seem like the kind of guy who would hack off a goat head and drop it off at Gate K on Waveland.
So who would do such a thing?
Mayor Rahm Emanuel is the first guy who comes to mind.
After all, Emanuel is the guy notorious for sending a 2½-foot decomposing fish to a guy who screwed up delivering election poll results.
And, let's face it, the Cubs and the mayor have been involved in some pretty intense negotiations about what to do with crumbling Wrigley Field — and how to pay for it.
A Cubs-imposed "deadline" to cut a deal came and went on Monday — the same day the Cubs blew their home opener. Again.
And earlier Wednesday, as Emanuel introduced first lady Michelle Obama at a luncheon to raise money for Chicago's at-risk youths, news broke that the Cubs want to play nearly double the number of night games and extend the left field bleachers onto Waveland Avenue.
Those are demands that would have to get a thumbs-up from the mayor.
A Chicago Police spokeswoman said the goat head incident is being investigated, but would not comment on whether the mayor was a suspect.
So I sent a text to Sarah Hamilton, the mayor's top spokeswoman at City Hall, to ask if Emanuel was the guy behind the goat head gift to Ricketts.
Hamilton was quick to defend the mayor.
"No," she texted. "It's well known that the mayor only sends dead fish."
** My Chicago disclaimer:
The Cubs and Wrigley Field are 95 percent owned by a trust established for the benefit of the family of Joe Ricketts, owner and CEO of DNAinfo.com Chicago. Joe Ricketts has no direct involvement in the team's day-to-day operations. No goats or fish were harmed during the writing of this column. But I did have a hot dog. — MK.