You don't have to be Jessica Jones to take justice into your own hands.
If you're tired of drivers parking next to fire hydrants or in handicapped spaces they don't qualify for, you can now serve the offenders' just desserts as a vigilante traffic officer.
An Etsy store opened by a Jackson Heights community activist last week is selling $10 bumper stickers that read, "I park like an A**HOLE."
”You can’t rely on the traffic agents or the police to pick out things that are wrong and enforce [the law]," said Jeff Orlick, 34, who estimates he's thus far posted stickers on the bumpers of six cars.
Credit: Jeff Orlick
“These people have to know that they’re a**holes; it’s important," said the Queens resident and car owner whose public persona, or alter ego, he calls the Queens Qustodian.
The Qustodian's quest is to encourage other citizens to take action in fixing the problems they spot in their community, "instead of just complaining about it" or posting possibly incriminating photos on Instagram, he said.
His alias marks the bumper stickers.
But with great power comes great responsibility.
"I am a little concerned that people are going to place these stickers on every car that parks on the borderline of cool or not," he said. "I want people to have discretion, because it does suck to have a bumper sticker placed on your car.”
Asked how one would remove a sticker, Orlick said he assumes there must be a way and the issue doesn't worry him. (The only thing that does is the prospect of irate car owners identifying his vehicle and taking their own revenge.)
He advises sticker users against branding cars that have their blinkers on or indicate in any other way they're only standing in a spot momentarily.
The NYPD, which enforces the city's parking regulations, did not respond to DNAinfo's request for comment on Orlick's mission by press time.
But the rogue champion of parking etiquette said his actions correspond to the slogan of the iconic NYPD and MTA PSAs: ”I’m taking the police’s [recommendation]: 'If you see something, say something,' or, I guess, do something.”