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Times Square Ticket Hawker Sheds Light on His Dark World

By Heidi Patalano | March 22, 2013 12:20pm
 "Alice" sells tickets for Times Scare in Midtown. He is also a Godzilla consultant.
"Alice" sells tickets for Times Scare in Midtown. He is also a Godzilla consultant.
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DNAinfo.com/Heidi Patalano

TIMES SQUARE — The city's street hawkers are tasked with the thankless job of trying to shove fliers, tickets and strip club coupons into the hands of unwilling passersby.

Some use imaginative methods to unload their wares.

At Thursday night's advanced screening of the season three premiere of HBO's "Game of Thrones" in Times Square, one hawker — "Alice" — dressed up in hopes of getting horror fans to take tickets for haunted house tour Times Scare.

"Alice" let DNAinfo.com New York into his twisted world:

Q: Are you in line waiting to get in?
A: No, I was trying to sell these guys tickets to go and see the haunted house at Times Scare. It’s really scary.

Q: I thought you were a superfan.
A: I did the makeup from a picture of Alice Cooper. This is my real hair. It’s not a wig. I took a picture of the Jeff Beck “Wired” album cover down to the store and said “cut it like that.” I don’t know nothing about “Game of Thrones” — is it a game? Is it a movie?

Q: It’s a TV show on HBO. This is an advanced screening for fans, which is why I thought you were dressed up.
A: No, this is part of my beat. By the way, if you want a ticket for the haunted house, I can give you a $4 discount.

Q: How long have you been doing this?
A: This, selling tickets on the street, about two months and I suck at it.

Q: How did you get the job?
A: I was really bummed out about not working. I’ve been going to horror show conventions for 30 years, about, and someone said, “Hey man, they’re building a haunted house downstairs. Ain’t you into that s--t?” And I was like “yeah” … so I told them what I pushed was versatility, because I’m one of the biggest whores on the planet. I’ve worked in container shipping. I’ve worked in, like, high finance. I’ve been a messenger. I’m an unofficial Godzilla consultant for Toy Tokyo downtown. I get around.

Q: So who do you normally sell tickets to?
A: Tourists, kids out for a cheap thrill. A good way to do it is to come after a horror movie because they’re all mad because most of them suck. “Texas Chainsaw 3D” was an abomination. I know two out of the five guys who have played Leatherface over the years. They’re as big as houses and they’re really nice guys but they never played Leatherface as sensitive.

Q: How do you stay warm out here?
A: My heart’s colder.