While New Yorkers aren't known for their niceties, even the most brusque among us polish our manners for the holiday season's office parties, fundraiser dinners and extended family gatherings.
DNAinfo New York turned to Beaumont Etiquette founder and director Myka Meier, whose 2017 finishing classes for young professionals at Midtown's Plaza Hotel will cover everything from how to eat spaghetti like a civilized human being to how you can turn on the charm in any social situation, for a few tips on how to comport yourself politely at social mixers and dinner tables this December.
Meier's evening etiquette classes at the Plaza cost $75 per person per two-hour session. Weekend-long courses cost $2,750 per person.
"Being kind, respectful and considerate to everyone — it’s not just for the top percent for the population," said Meier, who studied etiquette in the United Kingdom and trained under a former member of Queen Elizabeth II's royal household.
Said the Chelsea resident of the skill set she teaches, "We're trying to make it young and approachable again."
Her dating etiquette courses, for example, address the complexities of using apps like Bumble, including "ghosting," or dropping all lines of contact with a romantic interest. (Her advice on the subject: "Be up front with communication. I’d rather someone say, 'I didn’t feel a connection.'")
We've collected a few etiquette pointers from Meier you may consider following at the events on your social calendar this December:
► INTRODUCTIONS AND GREETINGS
• Make your handshake firm, but not aggressive. Keep good eye contact with the person whose hand you're shaking.
• In professional settings, a handshake calls for two pumps of the hand; in social settings, it calls for three at most.
• If you're introducing two contacts at a work function, introduce the more senior person first.
• At casual events, steer the conversation away from work-related topics. Asking "What do you do?" seems opportunistic, Meier said.
• In New York City, stick to one-cheek kisses, not two or three, as is common in Europe. Point your pucker toward the person's right cheek.
► DINING
(Note: There are two styles of dining in North American, American and Continental. Meier endorses the latter, a method adopted by upper-class Europeans in the mid-19th century.)
• When gripping your folk and knife, keep your index fingers on top of the utensils.
• Don't wolf all your food down at one time; take, at most, four bites at a time.
• When you're taking a break during your meal, place your knife at 4 o'clock on your plate, your fork at 8 o'clock. The utensils should be crossing each other.
• When you've finished eating, place the utensils parallel to one another at 4 o'clock on your plate.
• Hold your wine glass at the middle or bottom of its stem, not under the bowl.
• Always pass dishes counter-clockwise.
• If you leave the table in the middle of the meal, let the wait staff know you're returning by pinching your napkin and placing it on your seat. At the end of the meal, pinch the napkin in the middle and put it down on the table, left of your plate.
• When it's time for tea and coffee, keep the handle of your cup in the 3 o'clock position.
• Acknowledge the wait staff any time they serve you.
• At cocktail parties, always take a napkin before you pick up an hors d'oeuvre.
