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If the Obamas Move to NYC, Will They Be Park Slopers?

By Mike Bingham | March 27, 2015 2:00pm | Updated on March 30, 2015 8:57am
 President Barack Obama delivers remarks about the error-plagued launch of the Affordable Care Act's online enrollment website in the Rose Garden of the White House October 21, 2013 in Washington, DC.
President Barack Obama delivers remarks about the error-plagued launch of the Affordable Care Act's online enrollment website in the Rose Garden of the White House October 21, 2013 in Washington, DC.
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Chip Somodevilla/Getty Images

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If you relocated to Washington DC for a big, uh, project six years ago, and that project was coming to an end in, say, January 2017, you’d probably be ready to leave the District behind. Sure, it’s got cherry trees, half-smokes, and two airports, but our nation’s capital simply doesn’t rate against the verve and chaos of a real American metropolis. This is my opinion, which means nothing. But Barack Obama shares this opinion, which means that a.) I am right; and b.) in 2017, the First Family will pack up Station Wagon One, put 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue in the rearview, and move to NYC.

(Maybe.)

BuzzFeed News reports that Obama is “seriously considering” New York City as both his post-White House hometown and the location of his presidential library. This flies in the face of widespread speculation that the Obamas would settle back in Chicago, where Barack launched his successful presidential run as a junior senator in 2001.

Obviously, Chicago is a terrible place, and NYC is a wonderful place. You know this; I know this. So forget the Windy City rumors, and focus instead about the Obamas’ place in our city. If/when they move to New York, where should the First Family live?

Park Slope seems like an obvious choice. It’s full of fancy people who aren’t bankers, which makes it feel “fun” and “down-to-earth.” Mayor De Blasio would be a neighbor. There’s ample sidewalk space for scootering and I don’t know why, but that just seems like an activity Barack and Michelle would enjoy. Plus, it’s a haven of healthy living, and the First Lady seems to appreciate a fresh kale salad.

Or what about Tribeca? A big ol’ townhouse on top of a building full of townhouses down on Duane Street, or Reade Street, or even just a street with a Duane Reade on it? Columbia is just a quick shot up the West Side Highway, where Barack was an undergad (BuzzFeed says the university is also expected to be the library site in the event that they choose NYC.) The Upper West Side, Riverside Drive, Columbus Circle... all solid choices for the same reason.

Assuming they’re coming to NYC, which neighborhood do you think the Obamas will choose? This is not a hypothetical, you guys: as an anonymous administration official told BuzzFeed News, “[i]t’s real.” So, there’s that.