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How to Pick Someone Up While Waiting on a Line

By Serena Solomon | September 9, 2014 7:35am
 People wait in line for a pop-up cafe on the Lower East Side that allowed customers to drink coffee in a room of real cats. Dating experts said because you are waiting in the same line as someone means you already have common ground and a launching pad for a conversation.
People wait in line for a pop-up cafe on the Lower East Side that allowed customers to drink coffee in a room of real cats. Dating experts said because you are waiting in the same line as someone means you already have common ground and a launching pad for a conversation.
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Getty Images/Andrew Burton

NEW YORK CITY — Waiting on line doesn't have to be a total waste of time for the city's singles.

All the angst that comes from being stuck, bored and unproductive can provide fodder for scoring a date with someone who's queued up with you.

"It's like an ideal situation to pick someone up because you are trapped," said Emma Johnson, who writes about dating on her blog, Wealthy Single Mommy. "They can't run away somewhere."

Whether it's the dreaded Department of Motor Vehicles, the grocery store or the slightly more glamorous wait for a sample sale, there's a chance for a line to lead to something more than the register.

Here's how you can give a new meaning to the term on-line dating:

1. Take Advantage of Your Common Ground

"The fact that you are already standing in the same line, it already narrows down the demographic," Johnson said.

Using the example of waiting in line for a concert, she said, you already know that "you live in the same city, you like the same music."

People will subconsciously be more open to striking up a conversation because of those similarities, according to Arthur Malov from NewYorkDatingCoach.com.

"We feel better when we are talking to somebody who is more familiar, and somebody who shares our interest is more familiar to us," he said.

The common interest leads to an easy conversation, whether pointing out something in their grocery cart or making a comment about the café as you wait for coffee.

"Just take a second, think of what you both share and say it out loud, 'Wow, this sure is a long line. When did you get here?'" Malov said.

RELATED LINKS:
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2. Show Generosity in an Unpleasant Situation

New York City is full of ambitious people who are conditioned to get what they want instantly, Johnson said. It makes an unproductive wait on line unbearable, but this also makes starting a conversation with a stranger easier than usual.

"Misery brings people together, as trivial and first-world as that might be," she said.

In a situation where most people are thinking primarily of themselves, a drop of generosity — like letting someone in ahead of you — can work wonders.

"It is just opening up the interaction: being kind, being thoughtful," Johnson said. "It is showing what type of person you are."

3. Be Sociable With Everyone

While you might have a specific target in the line, be liberal with friendly conversation directed at others around you to "raise your social status," according to Terri Trespicio, a dating and relationship expert.

A simple point of remembering your regular barista's name or greeting the person handling your groceries will "make you appear more approachable and desirable, willing to talk to people you didn't come in with," Trespicio said.

"If you're feeling really confident, you can even introduce the barista to your new friend, if you get that far."

4. Prepare Yourself to Be Approached

Instead of being the one making the approach, those waiting on line can also up their chances of becoming the person who gets approached, according to Mark Strong, The Gay Life Coach whose practice caters to those who are gay or straight.

"Often people come to me and say 'No one really approaches me,'" he said.

Removing barriers can mean packing away your "security tools," like headphones or cell phone, while making eye contact and giving a benign smile to the people around you, Strong said.

"Once you start making eye contact with people on the street, you will be amazed at how many people are looking at you," he said.

Shifting your body can also make you more approachable. Strong advised to have your body at an angle to give the person behind you an easier shot at approaching you. 

"It is very hard to approach someone from behind," he said.