EAST WILLIAMSBURG — She may have been crushed by dispiriting Valentine's Days in the past, but this year Kae Burke plans to triumph over past agonies and mock the holiday that pains her fellow singles by hanging from the air in a giant suspended wedding ring.
"I decided to make a 'f--- you' to love by celebrating and having a bunch of passionate performers take to the stage," said Burke, 26, a trapeze artist who runs the venue House of Yes. "You can't ignore the holiday, it's in stores it's all around you. So I decided to embrace it by making fun of it."
Burke's solution is called "F--- Love: A Valentine's Day Massacre," a one-night variety show with aerial stunts, sadomasochistic acts, strippers and a sex scene featuring E.T. and a young girl on a trapeze bicycle.
"F--- love is a double entendre, it's either 'f--- you' to love or really sexy love," Burke explained. "It's OK to celebrate if you're single — especially if you're going to be mocking the holiday and showing how ridiculous it is like we are."
E.T., the "crazy extraterrestrial" from the famous Steven Speilberg film, will seduce a little girl on an aerial bike along to Elton John's song "Rocket Man," Burke said eagerly of one act.
The local burlesque icon Darlinda Just Darlinda (just selected "best Brooklyn burlesque dancer" by the Brooklyn Nightlife Awards) will strut her stuff — and get bloody — with her boyfriend Scary Ben in another segment, Burke added.
And Burke will play Billy Idol's "innocent virgin sister" whom he marries and then abuses on a giant flying wedding ring to the Idol classic song "White Wedding," she said.
"I've been curating and condensing all my favorite performers," said Burke, who is also MCing the show. "Regardless of your relationship status you'll like the show because none of the acts are lovey dovey. Plus guys get to be looking at hot naked chicks."
"F--- Love" is playing at House of Yes on 342 Maujer St. on Feb. 14. Doors open at 8 p.m. and the show starts at 9 p.m. Tickets are $15.