CHICAGO — Armani Darling doesn’t consider himself a relationship expert, but after years of watching women get hurt by men, he decided to give his advice in a new book: “Don’t Think Like a Man, Just Think: The Memoirs of Broken Relationships.”
In the 111-page book, released this month, Darling, a 26-year-old Little Italy resident, said he wants women to self-reflect. To do that he recommends such questions as, “What do you truly desire in a partner besides physical?”
The Kenwood Academy and Columbia College Chicago graduate said writing was never his passion, but he got tired of watching the female friends in his life get hurt by men.
“I would often get calls early in the morning, and I’m like, ‘What’s wrong?' And then my lady friends would tell me what’s going on,” said Darling, who's single. “After hearing those stories so many times and watching them do things I didn’t necessarily approve of, I was like, maybe I should write a book to help women understand things they don’t always see.”
One of the most common mistakes women make, Darling said, is trusting a man’s words when his actions don’t match.
“If a guy tells you he loves you, he should actually prove that he loves you with his actions," Darling said. "Just because he says he’s not out with girls, well he should be able to prove he’s not out with girls.”
Comedian and actor Steve Harvey published “Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man” in 2011 to help women understand men and their take on relationships and love, but Darling said that thinking like a man doesn’t work.
A woman simply needs to understand the signs.
Darling said he chose not to read Harvey’s book because he didn’t want his views to influence his own. The only connection between the two books is the supposed “90-day rule,” which Harvey talks about in his book. A woman, he says, should date someone for at least 90 days before having sex.
Darling disagrees.
“It’s such a big time frame; you could [date] someone for 90 days and only actually have contact with them five times, whereas, another person can [date] somebody for 90 days and have constant contact seven days a week,” Darling said.
“There is no set guideline on how many days you should wait before having sexual relations, but the woman should trust the guy and give it time so she can actually learn about him,” he said.
Darling said that if a man talks about sex a lot in the beginning, that’s probably all he wants. It’s important to watch for personal questions that help him learn about the woman’s background and interests.
“Those kinds of things let you know if a guy may be sincere about his intentions with you instead of just trying to have relations with you,” he said.
Darling opens up about his own personal relationship experiences, along with heartache and ending up in the “friend zone” with women he liked. The chapters describe different situations that women tend to find themselves in and Darling breaks them down.
The goal of the book is to encourage women to recognize their self-worth and leave the man who won’t treat her like a queen.
Darling said that he wants women to know that they can think on their own. Jelani Whitehorn, a friend who wrote a chapter in the book, said that he hopes this book encourages women to do just that.
“We’re trying to encourage a situation where more people celebrate our women,” he said. “You need to think on their own, you got it, continue being the strong fierce person that you are.”
AuthorHouse has released the book for purchase in softcover and as an ebook. It also can be purchased on Amazon.
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