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Malort Fan Makes Love for Drink, and Chicago, Permanent With Ink

 Chicago writer Wyl Villacres won a Jeppson's Malort essay contest, earning a  Malort tattoo.
Malort Tatoo
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CHICAGO — Writer Wyl Villacres is a bit blunt about his love for Chicago and its signature drink, Jeppson's Malort, and that earned him a free tattoo of the liquor's logo.

Villacres, who got the ink last week, won the tattoo in a Malort essay-writing contest. Villacres' entry focuses on his love for his hometown of Chicago — "not like everyone from the suburbs says they're from here. I live a mile away from the hospital I was born in," the Buena Park resident writes — and Malort, the bitter Chicago drink that even maker Jeppson's says "is hard to swallow."

"No one besides me should get the Malort tattoo," Villacres starts his essay. "I am clearly the best option to have our hometown hero emblazoned on my body. As big as possible, as visibly as possible. None of this hidden tattoo bull---- as if I’m ashamed of it."

Villacres took shots of Malort before, during and after getting his tattoo, he said. And later that night, he celebrated by putting "a good dent in the bottle."

The writer's love for the drink started when he was 21 and first tried it. Now 25, Villacres said he's partial to Malort's dry flavor.

"It's one of those things where, yeah, it's bitter, it's a little unnerving, the taste lingers in your mouth," Villacres said. "I think that's kind of a fun thing to do, is take a thing that's so notoriously bad and has this overwhelming shock to it and find the subtleties underneath it.

"And there's also once you start getting more acquainted with those flavors ... it's delicious."

Villacres learned of the writing contest from his friends, who know him "as the dude who drinks Malort," he said. He emulated Jeppson's public relations style — which features "this sort of dry, crass sense of humor" — in his essay to help him win.

While emulating that style, Villacres played up his Chicago roots, joking about those who were born in the suburbs or farther but say they're from Chicago.

"So why me and not Tiffany Trixie-Girl from Lincoln Park by way of Duluth, Minnesota? Because I’m from Chicago," he wrote.

And what if a Tiffany Trixie-Girl had entered the contest and won?

That wouldn't have been "authentic" of Malort, Villacres said, but it might have been better for the brand.

"I would have understood it 'cause I'm sure Tiffany Trixie-Girl from Duluth would have looked a lot better," he said.

Villacres got the tattoo, a red and blue Jeppson's logo, above his elbow. He was tattooed by artist Pony Lawson, who will open the May Day Tattoo Co. at 1610 W. Grand Ave. on Aug. 9.

Villacres' winning essay:

Dear Malört,

No one besides me should get the Malört tattoo. I am clearly the best option to have our home town hero emblazoned on my body. As big as possible, as visibly as possible. None of this hidden tattoo bulls--- as if I’m ashamed of it.

So why me and not Tiffany Trixie-Girl from Lincoln Park by way of Duluth, Minnesota? Because I’m from Chicago. Not like everyone from the suburbs says they’re from here. I live a mile away from the hospital I was born in. I suffer with the other Cubs fans every f------. year. I give directions in colors and/or numbers. I know how to not get frostbite when the temperature is below zero and beer runs still need to be made. I can get drunk anywhere in this city and still make it home easily. And I drink Malört like prohibition is starting again.

Malört is as Chicago as it gets (even if it is made in Florida). We’re a city that doesn’t pussyfoot around. We’re tough, gritty, and take no s---. We’re a boxer throwing body punches. We’d rather work and fight than try to get lucky with a prayer of a haymaker. We’re shockingly bitter but bright and light underneath. Just like Malört. That's why I want to wear Malört on me forever. To remember who I am and where I'm from.

So delete the other emails. Let’s inject ink into my skin and drink till it’s numb.

Cheers,
Wyl Villacres

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