LINCOLN SQUARE — Does it feel a bit like "Lord of the Flies" out there?
No, you're not imagining things. There really are more of the winged insects buzzing around these days, same as pretty much every summer.
The type of warm temperatures Chicago has been experiencing of late will accelerate flies' hatching cycle from weeks to days. A single female fly can lay hundreds of eggs during her brief time on the planet, and each of her female offspring can in turn lay hundreds, and so on and so on for as many as a dozen generations in just one summer.
Do the math — we're doomed.
Three of the nasty insects infiltrated this reporter's home last week and I couldn't rest until they were dead, for fear that they'd lay eggs in my hair while I slept. (Note: Houseflies don't lay eggs in human hair, according to science.)
Don't be such a drama queen, you say. They're just pests, you say. Annoying but not harmful, you say.
Turns out, reacting to flies with disgust and loathing is not so illogical.
Houseflies can't bite into food, so everything they eat needs to be liquified. Let's say they swallow garbage: They then regurgitate the garbage along with their saliva — presto, liquid — and proceed to sop up that unholy melange for breakfast/lunch/dinner.
Entomologist Lynn Kimsey of the University of California-Davis, speaking to The California Aggie, described what this digestive process means for people: “If a fly lands on that hamburger that you’re eating and had just came from a pile of feces, then that will be on your hamburger, as well as any bacteria in it and any bacteria on the fly’s feet."
This is why flies are so amazingly good at transmitting diseases — more than 60 of them — to humans.
Bon appetit.
The best way to get rid of flies in your home is to keep them out in the first place.
This handy tip comes courtesy of agricultural experts at Texas A&M University, who hold PhDs in stating the obvious: "Indoor fly control should be 99 percent exclusion, using screens, caulking, etc."
Should the pests penetrate your defenses, make sure to secure your garbage so they don't lay more eggs. If the killer instinct takes hold of you, decelerating the insects with an aerosol like Hot Shot — or hairspray in a pinch — will spare you from swatting at thin air while the flies whiz across the room.
To track a fly that you can hear but can't see keep in mind their favorite resting spots: floors, walls and ceilings during the day; ceilings, electrical wires and dangling light cords at night.
Or, if you can erase from your mind the image of a microscopic, fly-foot-sized trail of feces on your hamburger bun, live and let live.
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